Saturday, February 28, 2009

My History of Being Cool.

I was cool in 3rd grade, I think. I remember rolling-skating with my homies in Germany while my dad served in the Army. All the kids roller-skated and I remember being both cool and fast. Now that I think about I was the fastest!

A few years later we moved to Augusta, Georgia and I became less cool. It was different. All the cool people wore cowboy hats and boots, I didn't have the gear or the accent. The coolness pendulum had swung in the opposite direction.

As High School rolled around I became cool again. I was medium-cool. Not overly popular but people knew me as one of the drummers in the band. There was nothing like playing a drum solo at a high school pep rally with hundreds of kids dancing to the groove I was laying down... I was cool.

Then college came around and what do you know I lost it again! Not cool. I was pretty busy with academics so the loss of coolness was actually a blessing, no pressure to go to parties etc. I maintained marginal coolness for a few years then I got married.

My bride thought I was cool. Sometimes she tells me that I'm not cool. But I know she is just trying to keep me humble, I know deep down she thinks I'm awesome. It's cool being married to someone who was as cool as me. But little did I know that after five years of marriage I was about to enter a new, unimaginable level of coolness.

The pinnacle of coolness was about 2 years ago when my three children were 8, 6 and 4. I could do no wrong. I could sing and they loved it. I could tell any kind of tall tale and it was received with a resounding applause. Breakdancing? Cool. White man overbite? Cool. I was cool, very cool.

Now my oldest is 11 years old and I am seeing the coolness factor start to fade. I am able to get a glimpse into the near future and I see hitting the basement on the coolness quotient. The forecast does not look good.

I'm predicting my coolness to hit bottom when my oldest is 17 the middle one is 15 and the youngest is 13. So I have about 5 or 6 years and I'm cool with that. I'm planning to have fun with my uncoolness. I'm going to breakout the “Worlds Greatest Dad t-shirt” and enjoy the ride. Hopefully by then it will be cool to be uncool.

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