Saturday, March 28, 2009

Spikieitis - There is a Cure!

Stuffed animals suffer quietly from many diseases. Today our team, Craig, Skippy, Firstborn and Pinkerbelle, look at one of the more common conditions affecting our fuzzy friends, Spikieitis. And we are excited to announce a cure (see video below), but first lets explore the disease.

The Cause
The main factor in Spikieitis is the combination of dog saliva and stuffed animal fur or fuzz. (see illustrations below)

When the dog attacks a stuffie, saliva is transferred to the stuffed animal, dries and hardens the fur. The stiff fur, Spikieitis, in the past was considered terminal. (Special thanks to Pinkerbelle for making the lines on the photos)

Other Diseases
There are other conditions that need to be discussed, Ripaphobia and Flat Foot. Ripaphobia - a ripping wound exposing internal material - is very traumatic and often fatal. Flat foot on the other hand is not fatal and can be caused from a displacement of stuffing from the paw rendering it floppy and flat. For a complete list of stuffed animal diseases see the dictionary compiled by Firstborn at the end of this post.

This stuffed bear also has flat foot. A less common condition but very debilitating. The stuffie will often need surgery or a orthopedic device to assist in walking.

The Cure

Firstborn will describe each step of the process to cure Spikieitis.
  1. Wet down the infected area with a damp cloth, towel, or even a shirt. Don't soak it, but don't just moisten it. It has to be just right.
  2. Comb the fur. Don't start combing one direction and then start combing an other, comb in one direction, preferably toward the rear.
  3. Dry the stuffie. Let it sit by a fan for three days and three nights. Actually, the length of time depends on the stuffie. My Webkinz Bigkinz Frog only took about three hours. The unicorn seen above took about a week, and still isn't fully cured.
Dictionary of Diseases that Affect Stuffies (by Firstborn)
  • Bandaiditisphobia [bahn▪dayd▪iy▪tihs▪fow▪bee▪uh] n. disease in which stuffie has leftover band-aid scraps stuck to skin and are impossible to remove.
  • Boboflamicphobia [bow▪bow▪flah▪mik▪fow▪bee▪uh] n. disease in which B-B sized germs enter stuffie's body and start fevers, stomach aches, light-headedness, and fainting. It is very contagious and comes from beanbags or hackysacks.
  • Doesnthaveahipitis [duh▪zint▪hahv▪uh▪hip▪iy▪tis] n. disease in which stuffie has no hip bones and is unable to sit up straight.
  • Fatalbloodlossitis [fay▪tuhl▪bluhd▪lohs▪iy▪tis] n. disease in which stuffie looses great amounts of beans, fluff, or guts.
  • Flatfoot [flaht▪fuht] n. disease in which stuffie has an abnormal angle of the paw at 180˚.
  • Ripaphobia [rihp▪uh▪fow▪bee▪uh] n. disease in which stuffie has an oversized rip in the skin.
  • Roboflamicphobia [row▪bow▪flah▪mik▪fow▪bee▪uh] n. disease that is a more advanced species of Boboflamicphobia that blend in with carpet, making it more difficult to detect and prevent. They are immune to Boboflamicphobia's cure, and the symptoms are more severe.
  • Spikeyitis OR Spikieitis [spiy▪kee▪iy▪tis] n. disease in which the Great Dog chews up stuffie and leaves saliva in stuffie's fur. Over time the saliva dries resulting in crusty fur.

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