Saturday, February 28, 2009

My History of Being Cool.

I was cool in 3rd grade, I think. I remember rolling-skating with my homies in Germany while my dad served in the Army. All the kids roller-skated and I remember being both cool and fast. Now that I think about I was the fastest!

A few years later we moved to Augusta, Georgia and I became less cool. It was different. All the cool people wore cowboy hats and boots, I didn't have the gear or the accent. The coolness pendulum had swung in the opposite direction.

As High School rolled around I became cool again. I was medium-cool. Not overly popular but people knew me as one of the drummers in the band. There was nothing like playing a drum solo at a high school pep rally with hundreds of kids dancing to the groove I was laying down... I was cool.

Then college came around and what do you know I lost it again! Not cool. I was pretty busy with academics so the loss of coolness was actually a blessing, no pressure to go to parties etc. I maintained marginal coolness for a few years then I got married.

My bride thought I was cool. Sometimes she tells me that I'm not cool. But I know she is just trying to keep me humble, I know deep down she thinks I'm awesome. It's cool being married to someone who was as cool as me. But little did I know that after five years of marriage I was about to enter a new, unimaginable level of coolness.

The pinnacle of coolness was about 2 years ago when my three children were 8, 6 and 4. I could do no wrong. I could sing and they loved it. I could tell any kind of tall tale and it was received with a resounding applause. Breakdancing? Cool. White man overbite? Cool. I was cool, very cool.

Now my oldest is 11 years old and I am seeing the coolness factor start to fade. I am able to get a glimpse into the near future and I see hitting the basement on the coolness quotient. The forecast does not look good.

I'm predicting my coolness to hit bottom when my oldest is 17 the middle one is 15 and the youngest is 13. So I have about 5 or 6 years and I'm cool with that. I'm planning to have fun with my uncoolness. I'm going to breakout the “Worlds Greatest Dad t-shirt” and enjoy the ride. Hopefully by then it will be cool to be uncool.

Friday, February 27, 2009

Best Dressed: Pinkerbelle

And now the winner for best dressed six-year-old at Krispy Kreme goes to....

Pinkerbelle!

Last Saturday I took the kids to Krispy Kreme and my six year old, Pinkerbelle, had the coolest outfit on. A nice mixture of pinks, purples, browns, green, stripes and a leopard print all with a puffy collar.

Her mother didn't know she was leaving the house in this condition.

Go Pinkerbelle!

Thursday, February 26, 2009

Where Do We Get the Spendulus Money to Spend?

For the record, I am not a financial wizard. Glenn Beck does a nice job summarizing the flow of money that will pay for the Spendulus Plan.

Wednesday, February 25, 2009

CHURCH SIGN: Whom Do You Carry?


This is the same sign I drove by last week. Today is reads, Who Carries You? Whom Do You Carry? All I have to say is lift with your legs.

Tuesday, February 24, 2009

Digitalia and Man Purse

I made up a word about 10 years ago - Digitalia -- for all the digital stuff that hangs off belts like appendages. It didn't catch on.

Fortunately, we don't need the word because the trend has changed. All of the digital tools, pagers, cell phones, pda, pocket organizers, etc are consolidated into one device. Less digitalia.

That brings me to this man-cessory, the e-Volve Gadget Shoulder Holster.

Look at this guy, he looks like he's going to rip your face off, as soon as he brandishes his fingernail clipper from his man purse.

He has some pockets just below with man purse, use them.

Man, what are you thinking?

Monday, February 23, 2009

American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009


Let's take a quick look a the American Recovery and Reinvestment Act of 2009. Notice the last three words of the summary paragraph, "And for other purposes".

What the heck does that mean? I would submit a good "other" purpose is to "Buy Craig a new HDTV". Look a little deeper and the funds are there baby! TITLE VI—BROADBAND TECHNOLOGY OPPORTUNITIES PROGRAM! Thanks Obama!

Back to the Act. Let's look at spending on NASA. They are given $1,000,000,000 to spend in the following areas.
So, we are going to spend $1,000,000,000 on NASA. I'm good with NASA, they have done some cool things over the years. But there is no guidance, no plan, no expected outcome, just spend it! This is a recurring theme throughout this law. Spend, spend, spend.

There is much more to be said here but you get the point. Happy Spendulus everyone!
  • How much will the bailout cost your family? Find out.
  • Cant sleep? Read the law for yourself, it's only 407 pages of leagalese. See the whole thing here. You can also have a quick scan with this scribd document. Click the little icon on the right to make full screen.
Public Law American Recovery and Revitalization Act of 2009; Economic Stimulus Act signed by President Bara...

Sunday, February 22, 2009

Searching for a New Church


We recently have been looking for a new church home. Last year we moved about 45 minutes from our former church and have had difficulty finding a church that I feel would be the best place for my family. After visiting several churches I have a few clarifying questions:
  1. What is essential? I have asked myself this question repeatedly, what are my core beliefs? It's a very healthy question. Why do I believe what I believe?
  2. Does the congregation teach the Gospel? Jesus Died for our Sins, Buried, Raised, and Appeared. See 1 Corinthians 15:1-6
  3. What is their view on Baptism? The straightforward reading of the New Testament shows people believing and then being baptized. Baptism was their first act of faith, is was how they came in contact with the forgiving blood of Christ. When people became believers the New Testament says they were baptized. (see some examples)
  4. What about the music? I come from an a capella heritage so rock music during a church assembly would take some getting use to. This question however is not one of the essentials. Music is just a preference for me.
  5. Is the church friendly? How is the welcome? Are people reaching out to visitors or more inward focused.
So, after exploring the answers to these above questions we are still on the search. I'll share some conclusions as they are made.

Friday, February 20, 2009

Tell the Ultimate Tall-Tale


It's 8:30pm and a little voice from a darkened room calls, "Daddy can you tell me a story." You take a deep breath, shift into creative thinking mode and begin to spin...

I love story-telling. My favorite style is the tried and true, tall-tale. Wikipedia defines a tall tail as "a story with unbelievable elements, related as if it was true and factual. Some such stories are exaggerations of actual events, such as, "that fish was so big, why I tell ya', it nearly sank the boat when I pulled it in!" Other tall tales are completely fictional tales in a familiar setting, such as the American Old West or the beginning of the Industrial Age. Tall tales are often told so as to make the narrator seem to have been a part of the story. They are usually humorous or witty."

If you are a new dad, you must begin to master the tall-tale. Here's how.


  1. Start with something believable like, "today on the way to work I drove by a building....".

  2. Take it up a notch by introducing a few characters but stll within the realm of believability. "I looked into the building and I saw a man walking his dog who had a limp". Note: It's always good to throw an animal in the story.

  3. Devlop the story as you want by adding other variables, people, weather, whatever. Then the fun begins.

  4. I like to add some "personal" interaction. "As I drove by the man with his dog, his eye cought mine and, you wont believe this, he was giving me the stink-eye! So I stopped the car and walked over to him and his dog started barking so I ran. As I was running I slipped into a hole and started falling......."

  5. If you are not sure how to move the story along ask, "What do think happens next?" Take what they say and run with it.

  6. It's always good to end with someone going to bed. Since they child is going to bed it just seems to work. "And the monkey was so tired he went to bed dreaming about the flying cow...The End"
Have fun and happy daddying.

St. Louis Half Marathon


I'm on my way to running the St. Louis Half Marathon. It was two years ago when I began exercising. I hurt my back, felt tired walking up stairs and generally out of shape.

I began training for the Go! St. Louis Half Marathon this week. This will be my second time running this 13.1 mile race.

Last year I cut my training short and paid the price, limping for a month. This time will be different, I'm going to do a simple training plan. Two runs a week and a long run on Saturday, add one mile to the long run each week ending at 13 miles during the race.

If you want to run a 13.1 this year here are some good resources.

Thursday, February 19, 2009

No More Napkins :(


I remember back before the great-ressession we use to use napkins. Good old fashion paper napkins. You never had to think twice about using them. They were good for whatever was coming out of your face.

Now when we eat at the dinner table we use cloth napkins. My awesome wife has decided it's better to use cloth.

I see the point. It's better for the environment, and other things and stuff like that, etc, etc and so forth. There is a scale of environmentally friendly napkin usage, it goes a little something like this (from the Care2 Blog)
  1. So Not-Green, At All! Paper—Virgin Fiber, Chlorine Bleached
  2. Greenish: Paper—Partially Recycled, Alternative Bleaching
  3. Green: Paper—Totally Chlorine Free, 100 Percent Recycled
  4. Greener: Cloth—Cotton
  5. Greenest: Cloth—Recycled and/or Hemp, Linen or Organic Cotton
The above list is provided by Melissa over at Care2. I would like to add a 6th item...

6. Greenerific: Wipe mouth on sleeve. Save energy and water by washing less. Skippy knows how to do this and leads by example...

Wednesday, February 18, 2009

Bageling: Connecting with the Kids

I have been bageling for a few years now.

With three children it's often hard to make sure I have some good one-on-one time with them so we bagel.

This term was coined by my middle boy, Skippy. Basically, once a week I take a little-one to a local coffee and bagel shop, St. Louis Bread Company, and we order drinks and bagels. I have a coffee, the kido-of-the-week orders either an orange juice or apple juice. We sit there for about 20 minutes and talk about stuff. Then I drop them at school. Simple.

It's a nice tradition. I look forward to it every week and hope to continue it until they have moved out of the house. We will see how the teen years go.

Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Happy Spendulus!

Today we celebrate a great new holiday -- Spendulus. Gather the family around and join with me in establishing this great new Amerikan tradition.

Supplies Needed:
  • Large Stick about 6 feet tall. Look for a twiggy stick so money can stick to it.
  • A pad of paper.
  • Enough blind folds for each family member.
  • Let all the participants know they will need to bring a lot of cash.
The Celebration:
  1. Stick of Hope: Erect a stick in the middle of the living room (or community center) all participants gather around. This stick is called the "Stick of Hope".
  2. Donning of the Blind Folds: The head of household or community organizer ceremonially passes out the blind folds. Make sure to do it quick and with great urgency. This symbolizes the haste that the founding fathers of the holiday demonstrated.
  3. Pronouncement of Catastrophe: The Master of the ceremony tells everyone that the house is going to collapse in a catastrophic way. After panic ensues, writes down how all the odd jobs he wants done around the house on the pad of paper. Don't worry the participants can't see what's written because of the blindfolds.
  4. Money Toss: Each participant contributes money based on their ability and throws it at the Stick of Hope. The more the better. Some of the money will get caught on the stick, some will fall to the ground.
  5. Feed the Fire of Change: The money that falls to the ground is burned in the "Fire of Change". The money changes from paper to smoke. Symbolic of Amerika's change from a Free Market economy to Socialism.
  6. Redistribute: Half of the money that gets stuck on the stick goes into a fund and the participants can do odd jobs around the house to earn the money. The other half is divided among the participants based on need.
  7. Airing of Greivances: At the close of the ceremony those that gave more and got less can share with the group how disapointed thay are.
If you are leading the ceremony you will need to reference the following materials:
Have a Happy Spendulus 2009!

Monday, February 16, 2009

Happy Presidents Day, George W. Bush.

I know everybody is on the Obama bandwagon now. But on this presidents day I want to thank President Bush for his service.

Mr. Bush, thank you for...
  1. Putting our country before your own popularity.
  2. Caring about unborn babies.
  3. Being faithful to your wife.
  4. Not lying under oath.
  5. Recognising faith-based groups as the answer to social problems, not government.
  6. Cutting taxes after 9/11.
  7. Taking down Saddam Hussein.
  8. Protecting the homeland since 9/11.

Today C-Span ranked Mr. Bush as one of the 10 worst presidents in history. No bias there.

Reagan just made it into the top 10. I guess spreading freedom to the world, ending the cold war and protecting our country from radical Islam are little things.

So as we celebrate Presidents day I pray for our current president. He is in office for a reason. Romans 13:1 says "Everyone must submit himself to the governing authorities, for there is no authority except that which God has established. The authorities that exist have been established by God."

I'm thankful that God is in control and I am not.

Happy Presidents Day.

Sunday, February 15, 2009

Obama Upgrade with Purchase.


I am proud to announce to my fellow Americans: If you buy more than $50 of furniture this weekend (Presidents Day Weekend) you will get a free 5x7 portrait of Mr. Obama.

Found this great opportunity at Value City today while shopping with my better half. I bet you didn't know that this sign was actually paid for by the stimulus package.

Saturday, February 14, 2009

Happy Un-Valentines Day, Babe.

I am weak at giving gifts. Fortunately Holly gave me a pass this year. In fact I didn't even get her a card, fellin' a little bad about that one....

I did however give her the gift of shopping. We shopped for a new couch over the weekend. Unfortunately we didn't find one to our liking. So I raised the stakes.

I offered to drive 600 miles round trip to Chicago to pick-up a couch from IKEA. Yea that's right. I don't need any stinking roses to impress my lady.

Friday, February 13, 2009

CHURCH SIGN: Be Kind, Human!

Today I passed a church sign today with a special message, "Humankind (Be Both)". It has a ring to it. I should be "human", which is pretty easy to do and "kind".

I pass this church sign every few days and they have a mixture of messages. Some make you think, some are a little more humorous.

Peace out fellow Humans, be kind.

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