Friday, July 9, 2010

How to Watch the Tour De France

Tour de France

Image via Wikipedia

This is my first year watching the Tour with an understanding of the strategy behind this very, very long bike race.  I must say I’m enjoying it. 

If you think there is no point to a bunch of guys in tights riding through the countryside in France, think again.

Here’s what you need to know to get the most from your “Le Tour” watching experience:

1.  It’s not a “race” like you think “race”.  These guys are riding a long way but there is only a handful of riders that race.  They are in the front.  On any given day most of the riders are in a big clump behind the racers.

2.  This big clump of riders can go fast, being that they are in a clump, they can go 30% faster so it’s inevitable that they catch the racers out front.  The clump engulfs the racers towards the end.

3.  There are three different races rolled into one.  One guy will be call “king of the mountain”, he can go the fasted up hills.  There’s another guy who will be the best sprinter.  Another guy will lead and wear the yellow jersey.  The yellow Jersey means he is the overall fastest.

4.  Watch an movie about geese flying south to learn about why they ride in a line. 

5.  DVR the whole thing so you can watch the first 15 minutes, then the last 15 minutes.  All the stuff in the middle is like watching Rick Steves.  If you don't have a DVR simply watch the 10-15 minute summary of the whole  day.  There’s less travelogue but you can see who won.

Repeat every day for 21 days and you will have seen the whole thing.   Happy Tour Watching…

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Friday, July 2, 2010

Adventures of Out-of-Touch Man

celebs [The following takes place in our family-van on the way home from buying some cookies.  This is an actual conversation between two 39 year olds.]

[Song playing the the background, “Big Girls Dont Cry” by Fergie]

Craig: “This a pretty good song.  I like the beat.  Any idea who is singing?”

Holly: “It’s Fergie”

Craig: “The princess!?”

Holly: “No the girl from the Black-Eyed Peas.”

Craig: “I though that was some other girl…something gu..gu”

Holly: “Do you mean Lady Ga-Ga”

Craig: “Ya, that’s the one.”

Holly: “I don't know if Lady Ga Ga is a lady, She might be a man”

Craig:  [stunned silence] “I don't know if I’ve ever see he/she.  I’ve heard the name a lot.  [Break in the conversation as we drive] So this is what it’s like to be out of touch? Speaking of out-of touch.  You have heard of Jay-Z, right?  Do you have any idea what he does?  Is he a singer?”

Holly: “I think so, he was also on CSI”

Craig: “No, you’re thinking of Sean Combs”

Holly: “No That’s Iced-T (or is it ice-tee?)”

Craig: “I definitely know Combs in not iced-T.  I think Combs is P-duddy", or diddy.  They are the same person.”

[upon arriving home, Holly googles Jay-z]

Jay_Z Holly: “That’s Jay-z, he looks old.”

Craig: “I thought Jay-z was someone new…He’s just an old guy…”  (that’s him on the right)

Holly: “Alright, let’s get the kids to bed”

--------

At the time of this writing we still don't know if Lady Ga-Ga is a man or woman.

UPDATE: I came across a picture of Lady gaga…she is a woman.  Just so there is no confusion.

So much for being cool….Read my “History of Being Cool”

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